5 Steps I Took to Plan The Most Epic 40th Birthday Celebration Ever
I threw myself a 40th birthday party.
It wasn’t like any party I had been to before or anything that anyone would have created except for ME and that’s what I loved most about it!
Imagine a day by the seaside with your 12 closest friends doing Thai massage and eating chocolate cake and drinking Chai and wine and connecting in real and deep ways. Yup, that’s what I imagined too and that’s what I pulled off. Now, let me explain how I did it:
1. Before I began the planning of it, the first step I did was to identify my need for that milestone in my life. I knew I wanted connection and depth and comfort. Friends and family members were throwing out ideas of what they thought would be fun but none of the ideas resonated with me. In fact, some of the ideas just gave me anxiety. I committed to myself to not take any steps toward anxiety even if it meant doing nothing at all and instead to follow MY unique needs for this milestone.
2. After identifying my needs, I let my imagination run away with itself. I dreamt up the most epic, chill, dreamy day of all times. I thought about all that I would want to go to bed having experienced and felt during my 40th birthday day. I imagined a way to pull my friends together without any stress or any awkwardness being the introvert that I am. Just this simple act of allowing myself to dream, called in a vision that was perfectly perfect for me.
3. I took charge. I made the phone calls and the logistics. I sent out the invites and gathered the RSVP’s. I asked for very specific help with the tasks that I knew I could benefit from help with. I held zero resentment for having to do the leg work because I wanted to fulfill this vision. It sounded like heaven to me and I wanted to see it come to fruition. I had friends step in effortlessly when I asked them to and I didn’t need to ask for all that much because I was listening to my needs.
4. I hired help. Throughout the five hours of my 40th birthday party, my friends and I got to learn and be led by three different facilitators. These were other women in my community who hold skills that I loved and wanted to be enveloped by and I simply asked them. To my delight, all three said yes. With one, I worked a trade and with two there was money exchanged. By having these ladies come and lead, it majorly took the pressure of of me to hold the space all day and it gave all of the attendees a chance to learn together and connect together.
5. It was a gift. This day turned into a huge gift for myself and for my community. Every woman who attended beamed about the experience for days and weeks afterwards. Each had gotten a break from their busy lives to come and just be, to meet new friends and to learn. My mom had an opportunity to join us and see her grown daughter in her element doing what she loved. The facilitators met a whole bunch of potential, new clients and shared their work with a wider audience. We had rented a local space and purchased local food boosting the economy on that late fall day. In onother words it was a win, win, win. It was a gift.
As I peruse the milestones of my life and those of my family and friends I recognize that I am almost always the one to call the special party, stop the chatter to ask the deeper questions, light candles and hold ritual to make it special. I love when other people feel seen, acknowledged and held and I wanted to be sure I did the same for myself on this day of my life. And I can tell you for sure, I am SO glad I did!