5 Steps to Take While Going Through This Transition
Transitions, life is so full of them.
In reality each day is a transition. Ponder how different you feel in the morning than you do in the evening. Every day transitions us through different light and smells and feelings and experiences. It is the perfect practice ground for when the big ones come.
And then there’s the major life transitions; leaving home, starting out on your own, relationships coming together and breaking apart, becoming a mama, going back to school or work, leaving school or work, an empty nest, transitioning into menopause and into becoming an elder.
It is so common in our culture to skip over these major life milestones or to stuff away the myriad feelings that come with them. Few of us were taught to really experience the transitions we are in and to harvest as much from each phase of them as we can.
When we harvest from the transitions, we turn our transitions into transformations instead of letting them turn us inward on ourselves in self critical, guilt induced, painful ways.
Each part of our journey in these bodies has something to teach us and if we let them, to help us expand into something greater. Below are five ideas for you to practice no matter what transition you are going through.
Give yourself permission to name what season of life you are in.
Just like the seasons outside, every part of our lives are a season we are living through. Being in transition is it’s own season and has it’s own unique flavor and lessons. Name where you are at and stop guilt tripping yourself for being right where you are.
Mark time to honor it.
This may sound counterintuitive but when we go towards the scary thing it actually gets smaller not bigger. Gather up some flowers and arrange them in a way that makes your heart happy. Bring your favorite candles, play some music that soothes your soul. Make a tiny ritual for yourself about the transition you are in. Name where you’re coming from, where you’re at and where you want to go.
Ask for help.
Call a friend or hire a coach and actually admit “I need help with something.” Ask specific questions that you are looking for help with as you journey through this changing time. Giving someone else the gift of supporting you through this time is magic for both of you. Processing is pure gold. You’ll soon see you are not alone and that other’s truly do care even as you change.
Futurecast.
Get out your journal and dream as if fear is not a thing. As if courage is all that you are made of. Dream your biggest, loudest, proudest, most epic dreams. Dream into where you are going and how you will feel as you get there. Write in the present tense as if you are already there celebrating what has come to pass. Use “I am” statements galore.
Feel ALL.THE.FEELINGS
The only way out is through. Let this seeming breakdown become a breakthrough. There is no feeling that is too big for you to feel or be with. Set a timer and let yourself feel the feeling that is knocking on your heart’s door for 1 minute knowing after that you can come back to base. Let every feeling be a wise and friendly teacher, don’t be afraid of any. Know that each feeling is cleansing you and taking you through this experience of transformation. Feel each one like a cleansing on this inside even when it hurts.
We so often look back on the absolute hardest times as our most powerful.
I remember when I first became a mom to a son with a life threatening genetic disease. I was in the transition of a lifetime. The earth beneath me felt like water and the sky above me felt like constant and persistent fire storms. When I look back now, I see the power and ferocity in that time. How that time was stripping away all of my crutches and addictions and coping mechanisms so that I could actually meet my true self for the first time. It sucked in the moment but it truly created me to be the woman I am today.
When we are in transition it can feel so disorienting and alienating. It’s easier to close in than open up but closing in adds to our feelings of isolation and numbness. Share where you’re at so you can learn from all the wise ones who have passed this way before and remember you are never, not ever, alone. There is a web of women waiting to catch you if you let them.
Remind yourself each day that this too shall pass and you’ll come out transformed even if you don’t know what that looks like.
Turn to Mother Nature who never resists the storms that pass by her body. Harvest the fruits of this time though they may taste bitter and odd. You were made for this, I promise.