Who's Hiding From You In Your Worst Moments?

What's the underlying, hidden thread that connects all of these scenarios?

GIVING AWAY YOUR POWER: Your friends or partner expect a lot of you. You're who they assume will take over when their kids are sick to step in, you're who they assume will drive when they have an appt and need a ride, you're who they assume will do the dishes after you have dinner at their house, you're who they assume will throw them a party for their bday, you're who they assume will soothe them through the constant drama in their lives. You can kind of get a sense of what's happening. They rely on you in ways that feel beyond mutual friendship and love. You might feel kind of used, or ignored, or stepped on. You might feel more like a servant than a friend. You notice you don't ask for much in return and what you would appreciate isn't really happening. 

It's not fun to be in these type of one way, sometimes toxic relationships. It can feel super disempowering and belittling. 

Often times, we wind up here because we believe this is all we deserve or that we "should" say yes all the time because it's how we stay safe or loved or protected.

LACKING CONFIDENCE: Scared of being wrong, afraid to say no, exhausted and overwhelmed with life in general. No confidence, no self esteem, no way of staying empowered but always looking around waiting for the reactions and responses of everyone else before responding. Waiting for life to happen instead of creating life to happen.

INDECISION: You need to go visit your family sometime soon but you're not sure when the right time is. You haven't taken any vacation days at work but you don't want anyone to get upset or feel slighted if you take time off. You don't want to put the burden on anyone else at your job either. And, you're waiting to see if your friend is really having that gathering she mentioned a while back and you're not sure which airline to take either. Your mom keeps asking when you'll be coming and you're just not sure what to even say. You kind of like going home but you also feel like all of your boundaries are invaded and you have no personal space when you're there. It's like you are suddenly 10 again even though you no longer live there. You don't want to stay in your old room but you feel awkward telling your parents your truth..........

So now..........what's the underlying thread that runs through every scenario here? I'll give you a clue, I'm the ultimate sleuth at finding this in people. And, most people don't even realize they've got one.

Yup, it's the inner critic! In each of these scenarios the struggle exists because the inner critic's voice is the loudest and strongest.

Lately, I've noticed I'm pretty much an inner critic whisperer. Most of us operate with this inner critic running the show but literally HAVE NO IDEA. Life can just feel draining and overwhelming and off. Let's sleuth yours out, shall we? Watch for times you're critiquing yourself or giving away your power and you'll meet your inner critic pretty immediately! Or, let's strike up a conversation with each other and I'll help you sleuth yours out in no time ;).

If It's Perfect, Why Can't I Say Yes!?

It was perfect. Everything we've been looking for in fact. Acreage for my extreme yearning for homegrown food and flowers again, A HOT TUB!!, the whole shebang.

But there was this voice inside that was saying, "that's not it, that's not it." Confusing, I tell you!

We've been on this home hunt for a while now. We've been searching and intending. Believing and manifesting. Calling in with faith and hopefully grace. And then, here was this opportunity. On paper it checked out but emotionally it didn't.

And we both felt that way. Something was off but it was impossible to name. It's scary. It's scary to trust my gut on this one. I hear my inner critic coming up with lots of doubt and despair now after I've courageously claimed my truth. My inner critic is having a field day in the midst of my experiment. But I'm committed. I want to see where this journey takes me. Because, if ME, someone who preaches about listening inward, gives up here and now, how can any of us be courageous enough to keep going and listening to the voice in our hearts who have this higher wisdom? So I'll keep going toward my higher self, toward a feeling that is resonant, toward a YES on heart, body and soul level.

I know many of you experience examples like this in your day to day. Where your life checks out so well on paper. All the boxes checked and appropriate. All the should's in place. Everything "should" feel good and be OK. But still it's just not. Something is still off. Something within is working to get your attention and lets you know almost daily or at least weekly that though on paper, it's all good, inside it's not. You're always overwhelmed or forgetting things. Living in a fog or in a state of low grade angst. Regularly living your life by the approval of your never ending, never approving to-do list.

Are you willing to listen in? Are you willing to pay attention? Are you willing to practice courage to find what is your match and your truth even though it's all working out on paper? Are you willing to hear what might be unheard as of yet in your heart?

I'm beginning to see what a sleuth I am. You know how sometimes when you're chatting with a girlfriend you can hear her issues and the solution SO OBVIOUSLY but she can't hear it or see it at all? That's the role I play with people's inner critics. I sleuth them out and introduce them to people who have been living with them forever but HAVE NO IDEA!!! I can tell you inner critic is why you might feel off everyday. Inner critic is why it's important to live what checks out on paper but not necessarily in your heart.

Can you begin to sleuth out a voice inside that's not even really your own? That loves to criticize you for taking care of yourself? For not doing enough? For not making enough? For setting boundaries? For being authentic and vulnerable? When you notice this voice, you clear the way for your gut, intuition, higher self to help you find resonance in body, soul and heart.

So I'll wish you luck in sleuthing out the voice that's keeping you "off" and wish me luck on following my heart guidance toward home sweet home.